Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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