batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you mean i was at the winter classic?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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