It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
