I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
