I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
don't judge my taste in strippers
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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