I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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