every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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