my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
