I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize