She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
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