His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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