dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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