His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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