puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Come see our sink grown plant.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
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I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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