Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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