Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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