Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
