she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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