This is not my ceiling
Screwed.edu
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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