I can tuck mytits in my pants
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
they're like a gay fantastic four
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
