Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
