I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
