i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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