And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
