it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time