She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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