I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?