I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
