Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
