you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just want nice things and good sex
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
