dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
The Olympian is in my bed
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
