i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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