I skipped work to stalk him.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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