Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
