Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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