You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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