I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
