Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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