Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
