this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
