Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
