Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
well you can't waste a boner
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
