Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
