Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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