Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
