I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
