so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
