just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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