plz talk dirty to me
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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