i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
