wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
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I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
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This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Do you have feelings for this penis?