Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat

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  (816): you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat http://tfl.nu/j8dy
  Replies (20) Good night (5295) Bad night (792)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,

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  (973): I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry, http://tfl.nu/9gek
  Replies (28) Good night (6158) Bad night (803)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  "must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.

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  (856): "must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls. http://tfl.nu/lfhc
  Replies (13) Good night (3374) Bad night (845)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.

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  (+44): chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome. http://tfl.nu/vhpn
  Replies (21) Good night (6795) Bad night (1084)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...

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  (905): oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"... http://tfl.nu/xa6k
  Replies (18) Good night (4993) Bad night (1998)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.

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  (919): its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night. http://tfl.nu/phgw
  Replies (73) Good night (8504) Bad night (1401)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.

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  (919): i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving. http://tfl.nu/oull
  Replies (26) Good night (7768) Bad night (1971)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.

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  (765): Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100. http://tfl.nu/hfgw
  Replies (5) Good night (1478) Bad night (789)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars

  (1-252): View more from North Carolina

  I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers

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  (252): I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars (1-252): I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers http://tfl.nu/w67j
  Replies (6) Good night (2040) Bad night (685)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations

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  (+61): We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations http://tfl.nu/f57w
  Replies (8) Good night (1644) Bad night (608)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.

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  (801): I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck. http://tfl.nu/p42i
  Replies (1) Good night (851) Bad night (278)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.

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  (+61): Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with. http://tfl.nu/73vt
  Replies (2) Good night (248) Bad night (574)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often

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  (+27): His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often http://tfl.nu/sl6l
  Replies (1) Good night (890) Bad night (224)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.

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  (360): Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol. http://tfl.nu/p59b
  Replies (2) Good night (492) Bad night (281)
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  (510): View more from California

  I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.

  (1-510): View more from California

  Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume

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  (510): I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion. (1-510): Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume http://tfl.nu/f5c6
  Replies (1) Good night (712) Bad night (211)

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