i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
