a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize