Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
