Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize