all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I lost the right to judge tonight
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize