pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
