I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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