Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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