Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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