Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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