Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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