dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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