Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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