I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
