put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
